Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Dear Chipotle,

We need to talk. When it comes to a relationship, there has to be some sort of compromises made. I know that you offer me burritos, bowls, tacos (with crispy or soft corn or flour tortillas), and even salads, but there is still something that bothers me. I like guacamole. I really do. Yours is delicious and seems to be made fresh on the premises daily. The thing is.....must you charge me $1.75 to add it to my meal? I know, I know - the quality is amazing. It's just -hmmm,how do I say this - you're smothering me, er, my burrito bowl. I don't need a pint of guac on top of my food.

Like the old saying goes, "Where's the Beef?" No, seriously, I can't find it.

Could you please offer me like a $.50 portion? My girlfriends (the cast of Sex and the City) said sometimes its not the size that matters, its how you use it. In this case I recommend using it a little more sparingly. As a really really smart and I'm sure extremely reliable (and not at all manipulative) website taught me, "A ɡrеаt test οf a man’s trυе feelings іѕ tο mаkе yourself scarce....It’s thаt longing tο see уου thаt wіƖƖ push hіm tο want tο bе together wіth уου permanently." Lets give that a shot.



  1. From the manipulative website:
    If уουr man don’t commit, thе very last thing уου need tο dο іѕ tο nag аt hіm. A man won’t simply dесіdе hе wаntѕ tο marry thе woman hе lονе bесаυѕе ѕhе keep going οn аnd οn аbουt іt. In fact, уουr constant nagging mаkе hіm more convince іn hіѕ dесіѕіοn οf nοt marrying уου.

    Who wrote this? Madea?

  2. madea was on oprah and apparently it was quite touching. or so says my mom. i laughed. yeah that website was terrible.

  3. Dude, Madea was on Oprah on the episode where Tyler Perry confessed he'd been sexually abused as a boy. I think your mom meant "touching" in a dirty way. J.K. Rowling.

  4. Tyler Perry's Show Me Where the Man Touched You.